How can you tell if you're co-dependent? The patterns and characteristics below are offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation. They may be particularly helpful to newcomers who are trying to decide whether they could benefit from the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous.



Co-Dependents:

have difficulty identifying feelings

minimize, alter or deny their feelings

perceive themselves as being completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of others

Co-Dependents:

have difficulty making decisions

judge their thoughts, words and actions harshly, as never being good enough

are embarrassed to receive recognition, praise or gifts

are unable to ask others to meet their needs or wants

value other people's approval of their thoughts, feelings and behaviors over self-approval

Co-Dependents:

compromise their values and integrity to avoid rejection and other people's anger

are very sensitive to others' feelings and adopt the same feelings

are extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long

place a higher value on others' opinions and feelings

are afraid to express differing viewpoints or feelings

put aside personal interests and hobbies to do what others' want

accept sex as a substitute for love

Control Patterns
 
Co-Dependents:

believe most others are incapable of caring for themselves

attempt to convince others what they should think or feel

become resentful when others refuse their offers of help

freely offer advice and guidance without being asked

lavish gifts and favors on those they care about

use sex to gain approval and acceptance

have to be "needed" in order to have a relationship with others